Holding Back a Binge

-> I feel like this is my mindset right now. I want change, and I'm going to have to make it. I didn't binge last night- that's good, but today, so far, it's been difficult. During the down, quiet moments I just feel the urge. Ug, and tv is really not helpful! Almost every damn commercial is advertising food and this restaurant and its melt in your mouth desserts and MICHAEL JACKSON! Oh my! Could we please give it a rest. Aren't there some more important issues going on? The guy was sick, and he obviously appreciated his privacy, so let's move on. It's hard to distract myself from the burning for food inside me. Though binging, I punishing myself. It kind of twisted because I think that I'm "rewarding" myself: "Go ahead and have the ice cream. You deserve it." But really the horrible emotions and pain in my stomach that I feel afterward, overshadow the short- lived mirage of emotions I felt earlier. I JUST WANT TO FEEL BETTER.

I've heard many times that diets don't work. So I don't want to go into a commitment knowing that I'm going to fail. My plan is to listen to my stomach and follow its needs as opposed to my controlling and binge- focused mind. Body vs. Mind. They need to be aligned. First, I'm going to follow my stomach, and second, I hope my thoughts and head will follow my stomach. I'm going to wait to have breakfast until other people up, so as to lower the probability that I will binge. FoOd. AHHHH. I'm going to stay strong and keep myself distracted. Peace out.